Sharing Life Stories with Shockers - Week 6

More Connected Than We Realize

We are getting really close to the end of our sessions, with just a couple weeks left. Almost every session to-date has been largely group based. What has been rather enjoyable about the group setting is the organic conversations that evolve (beyond the questions in the life bio workbooks) because the story of one participant sparks a memory for another. Have you ever just sat around with family and reminisced about growing up? Or with old friends and reminisced about high school or college days? How pure and enjoyable that is. Now imagine getting to do that after 70, 80, or 90-some years to a room of college students who didn't have the privilege of seeing the world the way you did. That is the beauty of sharing time together in this space - our participants surrounded by peers who also lived what they lived, and students who are mesmerized by how different a time it was. We're just along for the ride, getting to experience firsthand these stories and memories that span a lifetime. 

While the world was incredibly different when our participants were children and young adults, I rather enjoyed the realizations a few students highlighted this week, realizations that we really aren't that different. For example, a student who completely connected with a childhood story of one participant, noting she experienced something similar with a childhood friend when she was that age, too. Or another student who has seen the exact advice given by his participant, "Follow your dreams", unfold before his eyes through his parents' lives. Then another who was inspired by the resilience of a participant who dealt with a car breaking down when younger - how he related to and was inspired by her persevering and figuring it out, as he dealt with something incredibly similar.

Then there is the beautiful sharing of faith happening, especially in the assisted living group who reside at Catholic Care. Their faith is the cornerstone of their lives and they proudly share it with those of us in the room. As one student so eloquently pointed out, their faith is so present in the room, yet in a way that is not forced upon anyone. Rather, it's shared, it's personal, it's part of their story. What a meaningful way to share one's faith, right? It is a joy to simply be there and be encouraged by their words. We are connected in more ways than we realize and it is a pleasure to see these small connections, relatable stories, and advice unfold across generations. 

Moving forward as we close in on our last couple of weeks, we'll be wrapping up missed questions, filling in the blanks, and hopefully finalizing life stories. There should be some intentional time for one-on-one interaction between student and participant and I personally, cannot wait to see what we have left to learn.

See you next time for more Sharing Life Stories with Shockers!

-Jacie Green

Sharing Life Stories with Shockers - Week 5

 An Appreciation for a New Perspective

I haven't had quite the same privilege of getting to know the participants as the students have up to this point. I do have two rooms to jump between, so I catch what I can and sure enjoy the moments and snippets I overhear. And that's okay, because this project isn't about me. It's about the participants having an opportunity to share their stories and for the students to take it all in; to really appreciate the participant for who they truly are and where they come from, and to learn from them. Now, I have had an opportunity more recently to become better acquainted with a couple of participants in particular. One through family members and one via direct e-mail of her stories and sharing of incredible family photos, both of which I am enjoying immensely. These meaningful connections I've more recently developed has me thinking about those students who have been there week in and week out. They have a beautiful opportunity to capture the room, the individual, and are witness to what I hope they take away from all of this - the numbers in the room don't matter. 

Each participant is an individual with a unique personality and history that only they can tell best, and each individual is still living, learning, and growing. That sure goes against the negative connotation of aging and decline, doesn't it? But that's what I'm enjoying most from the weekly student reflections. The appreciation and admiration really, they have gained for these participants. It's meaningful and I hope, impactful for years to come. For all of us. Enjoy a few moments that caught my eye this week.

Student Snapshots

What is "old" anyway? It's not necessarily what we thought or are influenced to think by society and the ageism perpetuated in the media.

"When I first learned that age didn't truly mean you were old I can say I didn't fully believe it. They definitely have shown me what old isn't through these sessions." 

Just because we age, doesn't mean we lose personality! I can tell you first hand, a classroom of freshmen is full of different personalities, so why would we think a room full of older adults is any different? We are all unique no matter our age.

"Another thing I would like to point out are the little personalities of each of our participants at CC ... all these little things are fun to notice about each person at CC and is what makes them unique."

Years lived and trials overcome are inspiring and a testament to not just surviving, but thriving.

"It was very heartwarming to hear how despite the difficulties that came their way, they kept going, for themselves, and their family and friends ... I suppose the advice of this week, was to keep pushing on for the things you love."

We can gain such an appreciation for those who came before us, who have an entirely different perspective than us.

"Learning her perspective is so fascinating that I know it may sound like I am exaggerating, but is true that every week she writes and writes about her life experiences and hearing the new stories from her past makes me almost envy her." 

Ever feel the pressure of meeting goals and expectations that we think should come with each life stage? It's okay if that doesn't happen.

"My Life Story partner did not 'accomplish' her goals so quickly. In fact, it took her a while before she felt that she had truly got what she wanted. This confirmed in me that there is no assigned age for personal accomplishments."

And you know what? Sometimes memories are hard. Sometimes life was hard and the recollection triggers difficult things. We are vulnerable and it's okay to be vulnerable and to even step away from something if it's emotionally too much.

"...it shows that people of all ages are still people and have problems we need to confront." 

Powerful, right?

See you next week for more Sharing Life Stories with Shockers!

-Jacie G. 

Sharing Life Stories with Shockers: Mid-Term!

The Best is Yet to Come.

We are officially at the half-way point of our time together at Catholic Care Center. It has been four weeks of gathering stories, learning what life was like generations ago, and gaining new perspectives for the older adults across the table. I am the first to admit though, this project hasn't been perfect. We have some scheduling to figure out, questions to piece together, and as happens with many classes mid-semester, select students have much work left to do. But. We'll get there. Truth be told, I am a perfectionist (to a fault), so the hidden beauty of this pilot project from my perspective is how much I'm learning, too. It is teaching me as much as it is my students. My lesson? It's okay to not have everything perfectly aligned right away. I'm learning from our participants the value of a moment, to enjoy the simple things. Now, that is easier said than done for a worrier like myself, yet through their stories and strength they so evidently possess, I would be remorse if I wasn't inspired by them. What I hear is the importance of being present in the moment and if you have to piece it all together as you go, it's okay. That is life, right? What a great lesson.

Given the lessons I have been learning to-date with this project, and honestly to this point in my own young-ish adulthood, it is fitting this week provided a look into the lives of our participants when they too, were young adults. Memories of their post-high school days, early married years, college, careers, and even war. Students were surprised (jealous perhaps) to hear the dollar figures of attending college in the mid-1900s. We were all saddened by the stories of war, loss of friends, and the uncertainty of that time for their families. We enjoyed incredibly relatable college comments, like the desire to pursue a particular major, but the barrier of organic chemistry too much to overcome (I can't be the only one that speaks to). And I was personally encouraged by the tenacity of a once stay-at-home-mom now taking classes at Wichita State herself - proof that the desire and ability to acquire knowledge is not bound by a number. From what I gathered last week, the following quotes specifically speak to the essence of young adulthood/college life that freshman are just embarking on:

Story Snapshots

"Perseverance wins."

"What you learn in the classroom is important, but set foot into the vocation, industry, career/occupation that you're anticipating going into. You'll find it's a lot different than what you learned in the books."

I trust statements like the above won't be lost on college freshman, or anyone for that matter. Rather, I hope such advice serves as inspiration that when it's not easy, to preserve. And be an active participant in knowledge, seeking out opportunities for application related to aspirations. I know I would have benefited from such advice. I still do. While we are half-way through this project, I'm most excited for what's to come because life stories will really start to take shape. Memories that have come alive during this process will be written down for generations to come. What might seem simple from a class perspective is life changing for our participants, their families, and hopefully a little for the students themselves. And that's why we are here.

See you next week for more Sharing Life Stories with Shockers!

-Jacie Green

 

Sharing Life Stories with Shockers - Spring Break

"Annie-Annie-Over" and Childhood Memories

It was Spring Break for Wichita State students last week. I originally thought we would not have the opportunity to meet during break since students would be gone. However, our participants wanted to continue meeting and I don't blame them. The social engagement among the groups has been such a joy for all involved. Turns out, it was actually the perfect opportunity to get creative. Thanks to technology and the ability to record the session, we could still meet and I simply share the recording with students later. Even better, my oldest kids were also on Spring Break. This meant they could venture with me to Catholic Care Center to listen. They are no strangers to older adults. Both were very close to their own Great Grandma Norma and Great Papa, and still to this day, have Great G-ma in their lives. How perfect was it though, that the topic of this particular session was childhood memories? There is a 91 year gap between one of our participants and my middle daughter. My middle daughter doesn't truly understand how special it is to learn from someone 90 years her senior, but someday she will. I didn't even really appreciate the impact and value of the relationships I had with my grandparents until I began studying aging. It has always been so natural for me to enjoy the company of older adults. It wasn't until college that I began to realize the experiences I had growing up had a major influence on my attitude towards aging and my enjoyment of engaging with the older generation. I never saw them as "old", I just saw them as people who knew way more than I could possibly imagine.

While I didn't have students in the room to draw reflections from, I selfishly enjoyed engaging my daughters in the session. As the participants shared stories, my daughters colored Easter eggs to share with each participant at the end of our session. True, it helped keep them occupied while sitting for an hour - which is a tall order, for a kindergartner especially - but it also spread a little bit of kindness around. I'd argue we received even more from them though. Like the heartwarming memories of a gentleman recollecting his days having to "play house" with his three sisters. Or the woman who reflected fondly on her girls' baseball team that formed during school recesses. And the woman who shared pictures of her as a young child, climbing on the roof of a much-too-high-for-this mom's-comfort-level, metal building on their property; recalling how her mom would go in the house and shut the door, because she just couldn't watch. How about the man who shared about his soccer playing days in high school? That sure caught the attention of my little soccer players. Then there was the game "Annie-Annie-Over". This game was a hot topic among the downstairs room where I spent the majority of the time, so perhaps I shouldn't have been so surprised when I entered the upstairs room and heard the exact game being recalled again. Naturally, my girls and I required an explanation on how this game went down. Apparently, someone throws a ball over the house (or in the case of one resident, their outhouse because its size was considerably easier) while calling out "Annie-Annie-Over". To my understanding, the recipient on the other side of the house tries to catch the ball and if they do, they run around the house to tag the thrower. If you don't get the ball over on your first try, you yell out "Pigtails!" alerting your recipient it didn't make it. Admittedly, I may not have all the details correct, but guess who has been trying to throw a ball over our house this week and yelling "Annie-Annie-Over" in the process? My daughters! I just had to smile and be grateful for the time these participants spent sharing a piece of their childhood with my girls.

So, what did I learn this week? I learned what we all internally know, that we should enjoy the moment because it won't always be there. Childhood? That goes by in the blink of an eye, doesn't it? Our participants will attest to that fact. So while we can, what I take away from this week especially is that we should enjoy the moment we have and what is right in front of us. Whether that is the innocent youth of a kindergartner or the brilliant wisdom of 97 year old, take it all in because someday, it all becomes a memory.

See you next week for more Sharing Life Stories with Shockers!

-Jacie Green

Sharing Life Stories with Shockers - Week 3

When History Comes to Life

We have a world of information at our fingertips. Literally. If there is a historical moment we want to learn about, we can access it in just a matter of clicks and swipes. And current events? When breaking news happens across the world, our smartphone notifies us first. What happens though, when we have the privilege of hearing firsthand stories from aging adults who lived through some of the biggest events of the 1900s such as WWII, the Kennedy Assassination, and Vietnam? Even more recent recollections of Y2K and 9/11 (how is it possible those were 20+ years ago?) surfaced, as this third session focused on historical events. Now, if you think about a college freshman class in 2022, even these more recent historical events precede their lifetime. While history classes and (reputable) internet searches are good, we gain an entirely different perspective sitting across from someone who has lived these events. The older generations of today, they are the ones who lived through these events, and they did so when breaking news wasn't streaming in a newsfeed.

I have the pleasure of reading student reflections of the historical events shared, some of which brought out emotions for those present in the room. Here is a snapshot of what was captured.

Week 3 Story Snapshots

Imagine gathering around a radio - a radio - to hear the latest news from WWII. As a five-year-old, watching your mother tune in for the latest reports, praying her brothers weren't among those lost.

Having a family member witness the Japanese attacks on Pearl Harbor, and survive to tell you the tale. 

Experiencing the loss of close friends who served in Vietnam. 

Witnessing the chaotic confusion of the Kennedy Assassination on a tiny, tube television. Your family hanging on every word of Walter Cronkite, as he tried to make sense of what just happened. 

Being in charge of a large corporation in Chicago, trying to best manage your employees as the devastating coverage of 9/11 comes across all the televisions.

Experiencing the pride of going to vote for the first time as a woman, to only be turned away because 21 years was still the required age. You then had to wait for President Nixon to declare that if at age 18, you are old enough to fight for your country, you are old enough to vote. And not missing an election since.

Navigating the uneasiness of a world on the verge of a new century and all the unknowns and "what ifs" that came with the year 2000.

Now, the most recent and perhaps obvious historical event - Covid-19 - will be discussed more fully in a later session, because their perspective as residents in a LTC community will be unlike any in the room experienced. The few moments in time that were covered however, are beautiful reminders that we truly don't know what one has endured, experienced, and survived in a lifetime. We do ourselves and the generations above us a great disservice if we don't pause to reflect on the history they have walked and how their perspective of each experience influenced their lives. While we can, we would be wise to cherish the personal recollections of the oldest generations. Many of whom were born amid the Great Depression, experienced WWII, felt the weight of a presidential assassination, witnessed extreme racial discrimination, endured Vietnam, were present for the turn of a century, saw a nation come together after a terrorist attack, and for the past two years, have even survived a global pandemic. This population, they are so much more than the number by which we often limit them. What an honor it is to hear their stories.

See you next week for more Sharing Life Stories with Shockers!

-Jacie G.

Sharing Life Stories with Shockers - Week 2

When the Classroom Meets the Real World, Everyone Benefits.

Prior to our class visiting Catholic Care Center, we spent the first six weeks of the semester studying aging. Broad topic, right? It is important though, to first focus on the dynamic aging process and population. Of all the content and conversations this entailed, among the most valuable was the discussion of stereotypes and the related ageism that can result. Perhaps it's obvious by now, but fighting stereotypes and ageism is a passion of mine. I grew up with a Papa who challenged all the stereotypical notions of growing old. I aspire to view other aging adults in that same light. Don’t misunderstand, I realize not every 92-year-old can safely ride a motorcycle like Papa did, but he didn’t let a number define him or keep him from what he was still fully capable of doing. Neither did my 90-year-old friend, Dorothy, who kept in communication with me via Facebook when I went to college.

Acquiring knowledge about aging promotes self-awareness and recognition of stereotypes and ageism. So then, when confronted with an aging adult who exceeds your expectations and challenges what you thought you knew about aging, it fosters an appreciation for the person rather than a focus on the limitations often associated with a number. We have the pleasure of seeing this unfold during our intergenerational project.

We are just two weeks into collecting life stories, but the impact is already apparent. During the second week, we dove a little deeper into the personal history of the participants, as they reminisced on people who shaped their lives. It’s powerful to sit in a room with 6-7 aging adults, each reflecting on the people who impacted their lives. It is then we start experiencing the content we’ve been reading and discussing for six weeks come to life. The following quotes represent a handful of student reflections from Week 2. I hope you enjoy this small insight into our journey!

Week 2 Student Snapshots

What we thought we knew about the abilities to remember in older age, can surprise us and be proven otherwise: 

“Another thing I learned this time … is that her memory, as well as many others in that room, is as sharp as a tack. And she is in her 80s!” 

You are never too old to inspire others to do good: 

“A piece of advice passed on to me today, was just to help people. When she detailed how her mother, no matter where she was, wanted to help people. Doing what she could, and anywhere she could to do good in the world while she could. I want to do that myself.”

And no matter how old you are, what you say (or write) can be an encouragement to others: 

“My partner did not tell me this directly, but in her writing … ‘Be present and don’t worry about what you cannot control’. In both her past and more recent stories, my partner writes of her happy memories, and they follow a bit of a pattern. She wasn’t concerned about what could go wrong or what may occur.”

We have an opportunity to truly appreciate the path someone else has walked before us: 

“The life lesson I took most from this was how good I really have it. My childhood is not near as tough as any of the ladies in that room. There were a lot of sad stories which isn’t what I was expecting at all.” 

“It made me more appreciative about all the things older adults have done for my generation and my parents’ generation.”

We are reminded to pause and be present in the moment: 

“In listening to the older adults recounting their experiences with their loved ones, I am reminded of something. I am reminded that I should cherish the ones I care about and appreciate them in the moment whenever I can.” 

“A piece of advice I received this week is to spend as much time with your loved ones as you can.”

And what about the impact for the participant telling his story? As captured by Sharon, facilitator of the assisted living group:

"When 97-year-old … walked out of the room, he thanked me and told me this is one of the best things he has ever done!"

What beautiful reminders, right? That when we look into the eyes of someone generations above us, we see a person who has walked a lifetime of experience, of both happy and sad. They are more than residents who perhaps need a little care now. They are people with a rich history, story to tell, and life yet to live. And we’re here for it!

See you next week for more Sharing Life Stories with Shockers!

-Jacie G.

Sharing Life Stories with Shockers - Week 1

Getting Started, Making Connections.

When approached one year ago with the idea of pairing Wichita State University students with aging adults at a local assisted living community, I was both intrigued, and terrified. Intrigued by the limitless potential of intergenerational connection for both the aging adult and student alike; terrified by the unknowns of a global pandemic. This was April 2021. One entirely new course build later, and here we are in February 2022 with a class of Wichita State freshman embarking on an adventure with adults three to four generations above them. For the next eight weeks, students are visiting Catholic Care Center in Bel Aire, KS with a collective purpose of gathering life stories. Why life stories? Because sharing a life story gives a person a voice, an opportunity to reminisce, and encourages the aging adult to leave a written legacy for family to cherish. Sharing life stories illuminates the rich history and life experience of an aging adult, and it captures the person for who they are instead of a number. Don't get me wrong, while it may sound like this benefits the aging adult, the secret is, it also benefits the 18 and 19 year old students in the room. The reciprocity of this intergenerational project is powerful, and that is why we are here.

While the logistical challenges during the first week had me questioning the entire project and fearful it might all completely implode, here we are. True. It was organized chaos on day one. We began on a terribly cold and snowy day (thanks for that Kansas). There were obvious pandemic-related challenges we had to address, but we are well on our way to overcoming the challenges. We have created the space - two spaces actually to accommodate the incredible number of participants who wanted a seat at the table. We have introduced a virtual option to meet health protocols where needed, and we aligned students to one of the 13 participants, who are themselves a diverse group of assisted living residents, independent living residents, and community members.

Remember how I said I was terrified because of the global pandemic? In reality, the pandemic is the exact "why" we should be here in the first place. Isolated and lonely, the pandemic affected all of us and is forever part of our story. During these eight weeks, we have an opportunity to engage, ask questions, enjoy conversation, get to know one another, learn from those generations above us, and simply enjoy social interaction again.

It is my aspiration to share snapshots from our journey in this space, such as comments and remarks that stood out to me and the students. I hope you enjoy following our adventure and come to appreciate how important it is to look beyond the years.

Week 1 Story Snapshots

Week 1 was full of light-hearted reminiscing to break the ice.

What did I learn? That modern conveniences are not to be taken for granted. Enjoy some of the following snapshots captured by students.

• Installation of their first indoor home bathroom
• The invention of the telephone, a multi-line telephone, imagine other people listening in our your call
• Stitch Fix? Not quite, but learning how to use a sewing machine so she didn't have to wear the "ugly clothes" her mom made
• Forget electric cars, the invention of an automobile without a crank was memorable
• How far farming machinery has come, the recollection of her dad behind a horse plowing the field
• An appreciation for real electricity, as one resident recalled the use of oil lamps, not lights
• Dirty dishes? Along comes the dishwasher, a huge asset to what felt like a "never-ending" task as a childhood chore
• An automatic washer and dryer. Gone were the days of using a wringer to do laundry

Perhaps the next time I complain about unloading the dishwasher, all the laundry to be done, "needing" the newest iPhone, it might do me well to pause and think about how far things have come in what, just ninety-some years? Will there ever be a generation to have lived through and seen such incredible leaps in technology again? Only time will tell, so for now, let's enjoy the moment we have with these generations who have seen it all.

I'd like to give a quick shout out to the administrative team at Catholic Care Center for allowing us to do this project and for the community partnership with Senior Adult Ministries through the Catholic Diocese. Sharon, thanks for approaching me with this idea!

See you next week for more Sharing Life Stories with Shockers!

-Jacie G.